1. An Introduction to Living as an Expat Abroad
Expat life takes many different expressions, and generally speaking, some people report a smooth and easy transition — which can make you question yourself. Am I doing things wrong? On the other side, it can be a very lonely and isolating experience, because physically you can be present but in other ways you are reminded that you aren’t quite there yet. This can be confusing, especially if you have already learned the language, or are in the process of learning it, and yet the sense of disconnection becomes more obvious over time.
I would say it can be hard on you emotionally, because you show up, you play your part, but it can feel as if things aren’t working — or even as if you aren’t good enough. That’s not the case at all, but our minds can play tricks on us. It’s best to let those thoughts pass, because that’s all they are — thoughts, not facts. The reality is that moving from one country to another means uprooting yourself completely. You leave behind traditions, familiar customs, and everything you know, for something entirely new. That is a difficult adjustment, and it’s okay to acknowledge that.
2. The Emotional Side of Expat Life
This is where social media can romanticise and portray an inaccurate picture of what life on the other side of the world actually looks like. Some people, as I mentioned, can breeze through and adjust immediately — but what about those who struggle? What about those who feel things more deeply?
After the honeymoon phase of moving and settling in, homesickness can creep up on you — sometimes suddenly, other times more subtly. For me personally, homesickness is missing the creature comforts: the places I used to love to walk and visit, suddenly so far away. I deeply miss the crisps and sweets, and the friendly, familiar faces of staff in my favourite shops.
Not many people talk about how your identity shifts during this time. It can feel like you have two sides — one that is more independent and easy-going, and another that is more dependent, asking more questions and seeking more reassurance. Your whole way of processing the world can change too. Your awareness might feel more heightened because you feel like the foreigner, the odd one out. Sometimes that might genuinely be the case, but other times you simply need time to feel normal again.
3. The Practical Side
Language barriers can exist even when, on paper, you speak the language fluently. You might misunderstand a joke or the context in which something is said, and that can remind you once again that you are on the outside of the group rather than the inside. Daily tasks may not be as straightforward as they once were — perhaps you need to visit a government department to apply for a certain permit or permission. These things aren’t necessarily bad, but they do require adopting a different mindset, one that gradually absorbs the culture and rhythms of the place you now call home.
4. The Social Side
Social media can make moving abroad look like an absolute dream, but I find that not many people are willing to be honest about the reality of it. Depending on personality, an extrovert will have a dramatically different experience from an introvert, and your nationality will also play a role — I won’t list every factor, but these are just a few examples worth considering.
There can be misconceptions about who you are based on any of these things. One thing I encountered — which I wouldn’t have consciously thought about had it not been pointed out to me — is that I smile and come across as very friendly. Depending on the country you’re in, this can be misread as inappropriate, insincere, or overly familiar. If you’re anything like me and simply being your authentic self, this can make forming connections with others genuinely difficult.
Making friends is also hard when you are working, because there are only so many hours in the day and a limited amount of energy left for socialising. Moving abroad also means losing your old routines — perhaps your favourite morning coffee spot, or a friend you’d meet for a workout before work. Losing those things can temporarily feel like a kind of disconnection, but it’s just a chapter. A new routine is waiting to be built, and building it is part of the journey.
5. How Support Helps
Connecting with others and sharing your experience can be incredibly freeing, because you don’t have to feel as though you are carrying all of this on your own. There will always be expats — this movement and momentum happening all over the world. I personally believe there is something deeply valuable about finding a genuine, heartfelt connection with another person or a small group of people. You can share your perspective and experience, and in return have theirs reflected back to you. That exchange alone can help expats feel less alone and isolated.
You don’t have to go through this by yourself. Every person is an individual, and every person reacts differently to their circumstances and environment. Some adapt seamlessly, others find it a little trickier — and there is absolutely no judgement here. Whoever you are and wherever you are, I hope your expat journey is peaceful and fulfilling. And whatever you are going through right now, keep going.
A Conversation Waiting for You
“Having lived as an expat for over ten years, I know firsthand how much a single honest conversation can shift things. It’s part of why I started offering these conversations in the first place — because I wished something like this had existed for me in those early, harder months.”
Book your conversation with me, Leah